Who “Sounds” Like an Expert?:
How Language Hierarchies Shape the Therapy Room
Anne Holen, MS, MFT, HSE
How do the ways we speak shape who is recognized as knowledgeable in academic and clinical spaces?
Growing up in post-colonial Angola, I learned early that some ways of speaking are perceived as better than others. Angolan Portuguese, with its own rhythms and vocabulary, was often perceived as inferior to the Portuguese spoken in Portugal, from which it derives.
As I spent time with family members who had studied in Portugal, I was often scolded for using what they considered “poor grammar” or “poor Portuguese.” I remember shaking my head and thinking, “I know you can understand me, so why does it matter?”
This feeling stayed with me over the years, reminding me to engage with others who speak in different linguistic rhythms from a place of wanting to understand rather than correct or judge.
It also helped me realize the hierarchies embedded in language, and the ways certain dialects are labeled “uneducated,” “unknowledgeable,” or somehow “deficient.”
Later, as an ESL (English as a second language) student in the United States, I quickly realized that these dynamics were not foreign to this country. Fluency was often mistaken for intelligence, hesitation for lack of knowledge, and certain accents for greater credibility — dynamics that have been linked to broader systems of classism, racism, and ableism.
So, as someone trying to learn “college-level” English, I often felt hesitant to contribute in classroom spaces. This hesitation deepened as I observed that the contributions of other ESL students with various accents were often fewer, interrupted, or dismissed. Over time, these experiences made me wonder how often people are silenced not because they lack insight, but because their knowledge does not arrive in the “preferred” language or style.
As a therapist, I recently began to wonder how these same language hierarchies may extend into our work with clients, and into our experiences as clinicians.
I wondered how our clients feel they must share their “emotions” or painful experiences in ways that help us recognize them as valid or meaningful. In couples therapy, how might we unconsciously give more validity to a partner who speaks in a language similar to our own, or who more readily understands and adopts the language of the frameworks we use (e.g., emotional attunement)? And what might this mean for the partner who expresses their emotions or pain differently?
In considering the clinician’s experience, I began to wonder how an ESL therapist who has experienced disempowerment through language would be affected by clients who uphold dominant assumptions of what “expertise” sounds like. And how may a therapist’s own internalized doubt or disempowerment quietly shape their sense of agency in the room?
These questions stay with me and inform how I engage with others in my daily life, and especially my clients. And though I may not recognize every instance in which linguistic hierarchies enter the therapy room, I am surely committed to staying curious and attentive to their presence.
Reflection questions:
Have you ever been judged or understood differently based on how you speak?
What are the assumptions others have made about your intelligence or credibility based on your way of speaking?
What assumptions have you made about others who speak in different dialects or language styles than you?
Credits:
I want to thank my family for the many lived experiences that shaped this reflection, my home country Angola for its life lessons, Amos Wolff and the KingfisherMFT team for nurturing the beginnings of my clinical explorations, as well as the writings and teachings of Dr. Saliha Bava, Dr. Sheila McNamee, and the many others bringing forth postmodernism, social construction, and relational practices into our clinical worlds.
